This content is from Centralized Xiahe Blog, which is currently in the middle stage of gradually transitioning to WEB3; considering the irreversibility and immutability of blockchain content, I have reviewed and modified the article as necessary.
This story is purely fictional. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is purely coincidental.
The rain in this city is getting heavier and heavier.
1. The Beginning#
The rain in this city is getting heavier and heavier. Dragging my tired body and a dripping umbrella, I entered this gloomy subway.
The air in the subway seemed to have not been changed for a long time, accompanied by the descending water vapor, it had become rotten. Or even if the air had been completely replaced, due to the floating dark clouds above the city, the air in the whole city had already deteriorated. The noise quickly spread throughout the entire train, as if it was trying to echo the gloom, making people feel a heavy weight on their chests. It was not comfortable to begin with, after all, it was a rainy weather, a dry place, hard to find.
The train started, making a loud noise, and thunder could be heard in the distance. Both were noises of electricity, naturally resonating, making people feel sad in their hearts, but really feel a certain sense of security in the midst of this crowded crowd. The people on the platform were in a hurry because they were eager to go to the next destination. But the people on the train were often tired because they already knew that as long as they stood or sat quietly, they would definitely reach their desired destination.
I looked at the platform list, and I was going to the terminal station, which would take a long time. Looking around at the people, they all had their heads down, either playing with their phones or sleeping. Sitting among them, it seemed like observing the state of life with my head held high had become an offense. Feeling that this offense was a bit too much, I lowered my head with my neck, opened my phone, and prepared to get some fast food from the internet.
RSS Source: Nian Si Blog, there is an update.
My email client flashed this message.
Speaking of which, many blogs have fallen silent forever.
2. The Fruit of Hope#
Nian Si Blog, full name Nian Qing Si Yu's blog, according to the older seniors in the circle, has been running as a Chinese independent blog since 2012. Surprisingly, when it first appeared on the major search engines on the Internet, its operator was just an ordinary second-year junior high school student—Nian Qing Si Yu, of course, this was just a pen name. I don't know his real name and gender, so let's call him "he" according to the convention of Chinese writing. He has never revealed his social channels to anyone, not even an email address.
"The train has arrived at Racing Road North, please disembark from the left side of the train in the direction of travel. We are now arriving at Racing Road North..."
I looked around, and the people around me were indifferent, it seems that this is still a small and unpopular station. It is said to be a subway, but most of this line is still above ground. It is said to be a light rail, but its large load makes it feel more like a traditional subway. The small station is surprisingly simple, it looks like two sheds next to the track. And the roof of the shed is already leaking, if the rain gets heavier, it might even flood this station.
The train doors opened, there were no platform screen doors, and the staff used the most primitive small flags to communicate with the train crew.
To be honest, Nian Qing Si Yu, I thought this pen name was a bit too ordinary and pretentious. An ordinary second-year junior high school student, where did he get so many sentimental feelings? But thinking about my own age, I felt a bit ashamed, after all, this kind of youthful emotions are quite normal. Technology is something that can easily give people a sense of accomplishment. Learning some technology and showing off on the internet is not unreasonable.
But this is 2023. This is a blog that has been running for 11 years.
I saw a few more people coming down from the other side of the train door, holding umbrellas like me. There are a few more holes in the shed roof, and the low station and the tall buildings around it make it feel dim. There is a hole that I don't know when it appeared, and it splashed water on my face. After sitting on the train for a long time, it should have been stuffy and hot, but now I suddenly felt awake. When the wind blows, it even feels a bit too cool.
It's still early, I walked to the sidewalk, holding an umbrella, and stood silently. I took out my phone, but I still haven't figured out what I want to see.
Since I became interested in independent blog sites, this personal blog site has never disappeared from the public's view. One time, a short story advocating environmental protection that was posted on it even made it to the hot search on a public website. Since the establishment of this blog site, it is said that there has never been a break in visits, even in the most bleak times, there are still two articles published every month. Eleven years like this, never missed an update. I still remember the excitement of the seniors in the circle when they introduced this website to me. Some of them have already started their own families, have substantial savings, and can't even keep up with an ordinary junior high school student.
The articles are all about trivial matters of life. The time of the first article is written as 2012, and it looks like a childish style of writing. Reading each line and sentence, it seems to be able to feel the joy of having the first independent blog across time and space. The first few articles were almost published every day, or two articles a day, all about interesting things in school. As the number of articles increased, the writing style also improved and became more stable. It seems that the face that transcends time and space has already left some traces of youth. It can also be seen that his habits have changed: the "Thoughts" column has shorter short essays of fifty or sixty characters, and the time of publication has become later. From 9:30 to 11:30.
From Nian Qing Si Yu's blog posts, it is not difficult to see an ordinary middle school student with dreams. He lives his ordinary life every day; he also has moments of emotional breakdown. In one article, he almost cried out, accusing his classmates of excluding him; in a few other articles, he talked about how he argued with his parents and how he persisted, fighting for one more day of survival for this website. There are also several articles in which he tells interesting stories of his classmates and teachers. Things like secretly eating snacks and reading novels during class are things that middle school students can do. It's funny, but it's also real.
Keep walking, passing by a middle school. Looking inside, the facilities look quite new, this should be a new school. In 2012, Nian Qing Si Yu was probably just an ordinary student living an ordinary life in such a school. Maybe at that time, he already had the imagination of becoming one of the legendary figures on the Internet?
The true identity of Nian Qing Si Yu himself has always been a mystery, but there is no trace of him in reality. He never included pictures in the content about school life. In other photography works, there are no landmark buildings either. In the articles, he always uses his pen name, showing a kind of privacy awareness that does not belong to someone of his age. If it were me, I would have already "gone online with my real name".
His academic performance should be good. In 2013, on the day when the high school entrance examination ended, he did not post an article, but posted a "Thoughts" saying that he felt he did well in the exam. Then there were no updates for more than ten days. Finally, he posted an article saying that he got his score, did well in the exam, and can go to his ideal high school... but the text of that article seemed messy, as if it was rushed...
Hey, wait a minute, why can't I find that article?
3. A Story Written Together#
I felt a few drops of water on my forehead in the damp air, I didn't know if it was condensed water vapor in the air or sweat from my skin.
The edge of the umbrella, originally dripping water drop by drop, then the drops connected into lines, weaving down. Later on, it has become a transparent cloth, making me feel like I'm not standing in the water, but in the middle of a falling ocean.
That article that said she had been admitted to her desired high school, has been deleted? I clicked on the "Thoughts" section, and that post was still there. But when I returned to the articles page, the article was indeed gone.
I looked at the 404 error message on the phone screen and felt a rush of thoughts coming from all directions.
After Nian Qing Si Yu's article, she rarely mentioned things about school. Maybe she became more mature and didn't want to share her school life, which was closely related to her, with strangers. She turned to study technology, publishing some technical articles. As a high school student in the first and second year, it didn't seem strange to learn some technology. When debugging programs encountered errors, his notes or tutorials always ranked high in search results. He also published discussions on hot topics, and the article "Rotten Wind" that made it to the hot search list was a novel advocating environmental protection. Recently, he posted a photo of his workplace in the "Thoughts" section. Of course, sensitive information was blurred—he is now working for a major technology company, earning a high salary, and the website's server has been upgraded several times. It even has a self-built home data center instead of using cloud services. At the same time, he attached a screenshot of the website, showing an average of 1543 independent visitors per day, and a hint of childish boasting.
"Thoughts posted from Windows 7, Chrome"
"Thoughts posted from Android, Chrome"
"Thoughts posted from GNU/Linux client, Firefox"
Isn't it just because he doesn't want to face his dark history?
4. He Has a Dream#
"Do you remember the girl who committed suicide eleven years ago?"
The quiet train compartment was almost dead, and it was suddenly broken by the deep voice of a middle-aged man. He seemed to be talking to another middle-aged man next to him. They seemed to not have noticed me, and some of the people around had closed their eyes and were sleeping, while others had headphones on. If they were to have a private conversation now, it would be quite reasonable. After this sentence was thrown out, the other person seemed to not respond, but he must have heard it. Because in the sound of the train wheels rubbing against the track, I felt like I was shaking and saw him nod.
"It's a pity, if she persisted for a few more years, she might have become a technical backbone."
"The train has arrived at Racing Road North, please disembark from the left side of the train in the direction of travel. We are now arriving at Racing Road North..."
I looked around, and the people around me were indifferent. It seems that this is still a small station.
The farthest horizon of this city has cracked open, are the sunlight and air anxiously rushing in, replacing the staleness?
Why, why does a person of the same age as me have the determination and ability to run a personal website for a whole eleven years and still keep it active? During this period of time, both the internet and reality have undergone earth-shaking changes. It is impossible for the youthful arrogance to last.
And I remember that last month, I reread the blog post filled with joy when the high school entrance examination results were released. Now, there is only an empty page with a "Page Not Found" message. I continued to scroll down and saw the footer with the record number. A twelve-year-old is not supposed to be able to register a website...
"Record date: 2018, Record subject: Ling Xia Li Ye Group"
Maybe it's just a quick record service. But what does this have to do with the disappearance of an article?
"Hello, Ling Xia Li Ye Group, how can I help you?"
Nian Qing Si Yu, an Ordinary Personal Blog#
"Xiao Xiong, I really didn't expect that such a perfect project would have flaws in the hands of someone of the same age as him. And it was done in such a simple way."
"But, thank you, you have persisted for so long."
"Where, I should thank you too. Now that you have understood, I think you, someone of the same age as her, understand Nian Si Yu the best. Why don't you help too?"
Nian Qing Si Yu, the real name is unknown, or maybe just unwilling to reveal it. The gender is speculated to be female. Nian Qing Si Yu's blog started running in 2012, and it was operated and registered by her guardian. In 2013, she took the high school entrance examination. On a day in July of the same year, she fell from the sixth-floor balcony and died in the early morning of the next day. After searching, a will was found in her pocket, mentioning "I want to live forever in my blog." After further investigation, it was determined to be suicide.
I adjusted the chair to try to make myself more comfortable, but I still felt a bit of a sore nose. Somehow, her story reminded me of a music video, or more accurately, an MV, "Lulu's Live Suicide Broadcast". Just like her, the reason for her suicide is no longer important, but they both hope to embrace this world, or at least, embrace the world of the internet, and become a legend in this way.
Of course, there are differences. The difference is that in the song, the protagonist was not known to the world until the day the song was released. But Nian Qing Si Yu's blog has been following the possible life path of its original owner step by step. In the song, the protagonist's cries on the public platform were ignored, just like a corpse in the bustling city. But in Nian Qing Si Yu's case, after she left, she was buried on an internet island and welcomed a continuous stream of visitors.
"In fact, in late June, she asked a few of us in the circle to help take care of her blog, citing the reason that her studies might be very heavy. At that time, it was indeed 2013, and we only posted some technical reposted articles on the blog from time to time and did some SEO for her. But after we learned of her death, we suddenly realized that we were doing something sacred. From helping people manage websites to now, we are weaving a story together. In this story, the departed person will always be alive, always happy, always experiencing joy and sorrow."
"Later on, we invited the public to participate in this project under the name of 'Collaborative Authors'."
At this moment, I suddenly saw the title of the latest article. "Notice: The Fifth Recruitment of Collaborative Authors has begun!".
Many professionals and enthusiastic individuals in society have joined the project. They were asked to carefully study the writing style of every article she published before 2013 (later on, they even used NLP to imitate the writing style). Some were professional CS workers, some were psychological counseling experts, and some were ordinary workers and readers.
"But you have discovered all of this, little friend, which means that everyone else may discover it too. I was shocked, but then I realized that Nian Qing Si Yu, she has already passed away forever. She cannot be alive, and we don't need to maintain this illusion anymore. Our members made mistakes before, such as deleting articles unnecessarily, not paying attention to keeping the system consistent in the "Thoughts" section, or showing privacy awareness beyond what a second-year junior high school student should have. And with more people, the original pure purpose has been diluted, and many people are too vain—this illusion itself will eventually break."
"So, I want to ask you, someone of the same age..."
"If you were her, would you be willing to admit your departure for a more authentic warmth?"
Would I?
I would.